Dick and Jane: A Dog Training Parable
Dick wanted a dog. Jane wanted a kid.
Dick and Jane finally decided a dog would be easier than a kid.
Dick and Jane got an eight week old black Labrador Retriever puppy. He was cute, they thought. He was also spunky and energetic and constantly kept running up to them while they were visiting the litter. He gave tons of kisses and nibbles while constantly wagging his tail.
They decided he had chosen them and immediately fell in love with him. They took him home right then and there. They named him Tucker because he liked to tuck himself up into the crook of their arms and fall asleep while cuddling with them.
The honeymoon phase quickly ended within the first week. They tried a crate, but he would cry so Jane would immediately let him out. She told Dick, “he is my baby and I cannot stand to hear him cry”. Because Jane didn’t have the mental strength to separate out her anxious codependent feelings from Tucker being in the learning phase of puppyhood, he was quickly running around wild and crazy. She justified it with the sentiment that I just want him to be a dog. That is code for I am too lazy to develop a quality relationship with my dog. Developing quality relationships with domesticated dogs is what “being a dog” is really about, anyways.
Dick decided to teach Tucker how to sit. He had him do a few sits in the kitchen with his kibble before he gave him his breakfast or dinner bowl. Tucker being a very intelligent and energetic puppy quickly picked up how to sit in the kitchen before getting his breakfast or dinner. He was happy anytime Dick or Jane interacted with him.
Jane was starting to complain to Dick about how wild Tucker was. He wasn’t as keen to cuddle on the couch or sleep in her arms as much as he was the first couple of days. He was stepping on her and chewing on her arms and fingers. His puppy teeth felt like a million little needles stabbing her. In Jane’s world she thought the only thing a dog had to do was cuddle with her on the couch to make her feel better. That and to take naps with her.
Dick decided what Tucker needed was some exercise. He worked long hours though so he would take Tucker out walking about once every week or so. He would just walk in the neighborhood with lots of fun smells, squirrels, and barking dogs. At first when it was all new and his legs were little the walks went pretty well. As Tucker started to get bigger his energy and enthusiasm also grew. Soon he was zipping here, there, and everywhere dragging Dick all over the place. He recently tried to chase after a squirrel and almost yanked Dick’s shoulder out of its socket. Dick screamed, “Sit, Sit, Sit” at Tucker. When Tucker didn’t listen, he continued to scream at him saying, “Tucker you little f*cker, I know you know how to sit you little sh*t. After this he decided he didn’t want to walk Tucker anymore.
Tucker then began spending more and more time alone in the backyard.
The moral of the story is…
Don’t be a Dick to your dog. Also, don’t be a Jane to your dog, either. Learn to be clever with your dog, instead!
It is important to note that being a Dick or Jane is not gender dependent. There are many women that are Dicks to their dogs and many men that are Janes to their dogs. And if you are a Dick or a Jane to your dog then it is not too late to stop being a Dick or a Jane and to start learning how to train with your dog, instead. Now that is clever, indeed.
